Summary: Loving him without the world's consent is martyrdom. But believing that someday something will happen is an exceptional kind of loving.
Author's Note: Some random thoughts from my mind that I had spilled in my diary few days ago. This is probably a product of sleeplessness. I wrote this for myself actually.
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Hearts connected but bodies apart. Do you think this makes sense? Can something like this ever work? Maybe. The answer only lies between your feelings and his. Nevertheless, don't give up. Love is something that does not need physical contact at all. For love alone is real communication and everything will be fine just by this.
Yet, how long are you going to fool yourself? If by accident you wake up in reality, do you think you can cope up by believing in this? Can you carry the pain and take the sorrows? Will you ever survive? I guess so. But I want you to. Because in the actual world cruelty does exist. And in terms of love, martyrdom does butt in.
But just be strong. Be strong. Just think of the happy times and remember the countless ways you smiled because of love. However, will those moments really help? Will those make you courageous enough or will just leave you blank? It's tiring. Extremely tedious. Like at this very moment: you're perspiring and hurting while living. Is this all life can give you?
Can't it make you smile when he stares at you? Can't it make you madly happy when he talks to you? Can't it make you blush when he teases you? No. Never. Just in your dreams and wonders. Because he never looked at you, never dared to talk to you and never tried to tease you. For he only knows your name and what makes it up. But he doesn't really know the real you, your true heart. So this one sided love is truly painful. And right now, it does hurt a lot.
You always thought that your hearts are connected but as what fate concludes, it's a fallacy. But it's alright. When you're ready to let go be free. But if you want to continue to insist the things you believe in, it's fine. Love takes it all. So just be patient to your blindness. It will never fail you because it is what you wished for. All I want you to know is that I greatly admire your hoping and wishful thinking. I hope this love would find the way to being nice to you. Goodluck. God bless. Don't forget to take care of your fragile heart.
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