[FANFICTION] I Cry

Characters: Anyone

Summary: That thought just makes me cry.....infinitely.

Author's Note: A write up inspired by someone. 

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I cry at times when I remember how you loved me, how I loved you and how we loved each other. My tears will constantly fall as our past brood over my sickened mind. I would recall how you first held my hand one gloomy afternoon, the way you smiled at me when we first fought, the voice I heard from you when I first walked away, the long stare you made because I don't want to believe you, the softness of your lips when we first kissed during the setting of the sun and the warmth of your love that I had fully received during the days of our affection. 

I cry at times when people tell me that it's okay and life must still go on no matter what. Various people will come and tell me that it's just a part and not the real end of everything. My heart would deeply hurt inside knowing about other's perception about love and reality. With that, I would doubt about the promises we made together for the hundredth time. How lovely it is to hear you say the words forever and ever over and over again. How nice it is to see you make everything you've said in front of me, laughing and full of energy. 

On the other hand, thinking of the pains you gave, I think of myself and the way I was when I were with you.  I try to see my image when I first met you: I looked so lost. Then my image when I accepted you in my life: I looked like a blooming rose. I reminisce myself with you. Things were so great. And that made me realize what really went wrong. That I weren't made especially for you.

For I didn't say the words I Love You like you did. I didn't show my heart as much as you wanted me to. I didn't understand you as much you understood me. I didn't help you as much you helped me. I did love you back. Purely. But I didn't do anything great in return for you. And when my sight of you turning your heart back from me flashed in my mind, I saw the deep cut in your kind heart. A cut that I cut. A cut that I should have never done to such a precious man like you. With that, I feel like crying in behalf of you. And I do.

Sometimes, when I think back again, I force myself to look straight and move on. But you were right. Before leaving me, you asked me if this is all I really wanted. I said yes and you told me that it wouldn't be easy at all for you and for me. But I still insisted. And here I am know, trying to let go of my love for you; of your love that still exists in my heart. It's so hard. You know. But I will. Because it is in letting you go that you can be free and find someone a lot better than me. 

That thought just makes me cry.....infinitely.

[FANFICTION] The Unforgiving

Characters: Leeteuk
Summary: Of one's self belief and strength.
Author's Note: Leeteuk is a one great role model. This simple write up was produced because of that. I exaggerated some of the parts. But never mind. This is actually boring. Maybe some other time, I could write  a deeper one about him.

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He used to wake up with lonely eyes. As a kid, he saw nothing but a gloomy sky and an empty house. Though in reality the sky was always so cheerful and bright during his younger years, he never saw it beam. For at a young age he had already experienced pain, severe loneliness and total loss.

Luckily, the hardships didn't took away his will. There were times when he felt like really giving up. But his will to achieve his enormous dreams kept him on standing still. And with his sturdy self belief and invincible strength, he fought like the Spartans and continued on living like Adam. With his show of much integrity in him, he conquered the odds and survived.

Now, as he stood on a vast stage, he remembered his sweet journey. He recalled the times when he just wore a simple pair of clothes, used the same brand of bag, had the old fashioned look, possessed the voice that no one hears and showed the smile that could lead anyone into tears.

He, himself, couldn't actually trace the exact path of his success. All he knows is that he never tried. Instead, he did pursue. With that act, he knew that he accomplished the impossible and arrived at his rightful destination. If there's one thing that he would never forget, it would be the tears. Tears that made him stronger and more passionate. At this moment, he wanted to tell you that he loves you and that the things that you can see in him right now are real. He always wants you to whisper the words 'Thank You' and 'I love you' for because of your support, he distilled the unforgiving.

[FANFICTION] Still

Characters: Yoochun, Han Ji Min
Summary: Even the sun fades, even the moon disappears, even the world vanishes, even your body would exist no more, I will still love you.
Author's Note: Rooftop Prince still affects me. This is the effect.

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Inside my royal room there I sit. Sometimes I stand and face the closed window, trying to get the best scenery I can, alone. At nights, I walk by the pond where my memory of her first occurred. Though her body is no longer visible in the midnight image of the pond every time I pass by, the hidden pains she had endured are still around, playing with the wind. And as soon as these touch me,  I cry.

But no one sees it. Not even the royal guards or royal maids behind me. Not even my closest friends whom I often eat Omurice whenever we feel to. Not even my silk clothes. Just my heart. My pure, lonely heart. And it hurts: the way everything goes at the moment and the fact that the happenings in the past will just be painful memories. Everything stings. And I don't know that as a living King in the Joseon Dynasty, I can still be considered as mighty.

That's why I've always loved night times. Because in the darkest hours, that's when I feel the presence of her love the most. Upon feeling it, I would be comforted. Ah, everything seemed so good. For I stopped being afraid of the dark when I first met her. Even a thief who has ten knives in his pocket did I ever fear. For in the presence of her love I gained real comfort. And because she died in the middle of the night at the cold waters of the pond, there I always walk, trying to feel her love though thorns pinch my ever melancholy heart.



However, the sadness makes me strong. Every time I feel lonely, I would think of the times when  we were together. The moments I make her smile, the days that were happily finished with her face, the long hours that passed like a whirlwind with her pretty voice, and the seconds I never wasted just to be with her. When I think of these, I become strong. And as more political issues come my way, I gather my strengths and remember the way she loved me. By that, my love never left. My heart is still for her.


Even the sun fades, even the moon disappears, even the world vanishes, even her body would exist no more, I will still love her. Because it is only in her that I learned how to love. It is only in her that I knew how to smile. It is all because of her why I am still here, living and waiting for the time that we'll meet again. So inside my royal room, though I'm alone, I never felt lonely. For her love accompanied me and that made me overcame the wearies.